If you’re like many Americans, your job doesn’t exactly thrill you. Maybe you don’t loathe it, and maybe you even acknowledge that it’s a good fit for your skills, but still…work is work. You come in each morning, do what you have to do, and leave the pursuit of happiness for your personal time.

I’m not going to patronize you and tell you that yes, you have the power to feel totally, completely, and incandescently happy from 9 to 5 each weekday. Like anyone who’s lived in the real world for more than five minutes, I know that work isn’t always fun and games. (In fact, early in my career, my family was genuinely concerned about my physical and mental health due to job-related stress!) But you know what? It is in your power to become happier at work.

When you focus on improving the simple things that are within your control, you’ll improve your attitude and be better equipped to handle the not-so-simple things that aren’t within your control, like fractious clients and looming deadlines.

Here are 14 tactics to boost your on-the-job happiness that I’ve collected over the years, ranging from the familiar to the surprising to the “why didn’t I think of that?”

• Decide to be in a good mood. Make a conscious decision to be in a good mood each morning and make it part of your brand (even when you aren’t feeling so chipper). Put a sticky note on your bathroom mirror or set an alarm on your phone to remind you of this intention. Often, you’ll be surprised to find that a “fake” smile becomes genuine as the day goes on. Whatever you do, don’t give everyone at the water cooler a play-by-play of the hectic morning you had or the argument you and your spouse got into the previous evening.
• Take exercise breaks. Especially if you have a job that requires you to sit at a desk for long periods of time, I can’t overstate how important it is to get up every hour or two and move your muscles. Go for a walk around the building, walk up and down a flight of stairs, or stretch out with a few yoga poses. I promise, even a few minutes of activity can help you destress and improve your mood and focus.
• Personalize your space. I know a lot of people whose cubicles and offices remain as generic throughout their careers as they were the day they were assigned. But unless there’s a rule specifically prohibiting it, I say let your inner interior decorator loose! Plants, pictures of your family, inspirational quotes, small sculptures, awards, even funny cartoons clipped from the paper—all of these things can make you smile and help you to feel comfortable in your workspace.
• Be a poser. Body language isn’t just a way to communicate nonverbally with others. Research shows that your stance can actually influence your own mood and mindset, too! So-called “power poses” like lifting your head and chest and placing your hands on your hips can help you to feel more confident and less stressed. If you’re interested in learning more, here is a link to a very interesting article and TED Talk on power posing.
• Allow food to work for you. If at all possible, don’t eat lunch at your desk. Going somewhere else for your meal, even if it’s just the break room, will give you a much-needed respite from the tasks you’ve been working on and the tension you may be feeling. It’s even better if you can eat with colleagues and/or friends whose company you enjoy. And whenever you eat, whether it’s a meal or a snack, try to avoid junk. The food we put into our bodies has a real impact on how we feel physically and mentally. Choose foods that will boost your energy, not ones that will make you feel sluggish or cause you to “crash” in a few hours.
• Mark your calendar. Of course you have all of your work meetings and deadlines marked on your calendar. If you haven’t already, pencil in personal events, too: family vacations, drinks with your girlfriends, poker night with the guys, your child’s school play, etc. Being reminded of things you’re looking forward to outside of work will lift your mood, give you something to look forward to, and remind you to pay attention to your work/life balance.
• Use those vacation days. Sounds straightforward, sure, but 70 percent of North American workers don’t use all of their vacation days! I understand that sometimes our desires just don’t line up with reality, but much more often, I think, we let guilt or a misplaced sense of obligation push us in the direction of workaholism. Even if you don’t have time for the tropical vacation you’ve been dreaming about, a three-day weekend getaway can still do wonders for your attitude and resilience. Hey, they’re not called “mental health days” for nothing!
• Clean up your office. Seriously, even if you protest that you’re a “naturally messy” person and you know where everything is in the chaos, nobody does their best work in a cluttered, dirty environment. I’m not saying that you have to hire a professional organizer. Start by doing a few simple things like clearing the piles of paperwork off your desk and putting each document in the appropriate file, getting rid of the flotsam you no longer use (broken staplers, dried-up pens, etc.), and scrubbing your desktop with a disinfecting wipe. I guarantee that having an organized, orderly workspace will put you in a better mindset to work, and in turn, being productive will improve your mood.
• Be a team player. Yes, you could be an office hermit, stick solely to your own to-do list, and scoot out the door as quickly as possible each day. But if you push yourself to be a team player, you might find that you’re in a consistently better mood. So offer your help, opinions, and guidance to others. This will enable you to build more positive relationships with your coworkers (e.g., less drama!), and, as “givers” the world over know, helping others is a great way to feel the warm fuzzies.
• Quit procrastinating. We all know what it’s like to dread certain items on our to-do lists. What you might not realize is how big of an impact these tasks have on our moods while they’re hanging over our heads. For the next week, I challenge you to look at your to-do list each morning and tackle the thing you want to do least, first. I bet you’ll be surprised by how much better you feel throughout the rest of the day.
• Come in a little early as often as you can. This gives you a bit of breathing space that sets the tone for the rest of the day. It lets you get a jump start on projects and eliminates that “behind the eight ball” feeling that stresses you out until—and even after—it’s time to go home.
• Have some fun. All work and no play really does make you a dull employee! If you’re able (i.e., if you won’t be violating company policy or risking censure), set aside a few 10- to 15-minute blocks each day for enjoying yourself. You can play a computer game, read a book, shoot some hoops (buy a miniature basketball goal that clips onto your office door), or whatever else you choose. The point is to totally step away from your work and place your attention on something that you enjoy. It’s a really effective way to improve your focus and resilience and to recharge your creativity.
• Listen to some tunes. But isn’t music a distraction? you ask. Not necessarily. At the very least, putting on some headphones is a better alternative than listening to your cubicle-mates’ conversations, or to flinching every time you hear Cameron across the hall blow his nose. And believe it or not, some experts say that listening to music at work can boost creativity and productivity. If you’d like to learn more, here’s an interesting article on the role of music in the workplace.
• Space out stressful meetings. If you can, give yourself time to recover between stressful meetings. It’s feasible to bounce back after one intense conversation or debate, but several in a row can completely erode your resilience.

Like it or not, you spend 40+ hours a week at work. So do yourself a favor and do what you can to boost your mood!

Have you ever noticed that as parents one of our most deeply embedded instincts seems to be criticizing our kids? We harp about their lack of work ethic, bemoan their obsession with technology, fret about what they don’t know how to do, and constantly correct their behavior. We wish they’d be more focused, more self-directed, more constructive; less easily distracted, less selfish, less needy…and so on.

Of course, all of this negativity comes from the best of places. We love our children, and we care even more about their well-being than we do our own. In our heart of hearts, we fear that they won’t have the right skill set to be successful adults. (Of course, this fear isn’t helped by the ever-growing legion of news stories that label the current generation “helpless,” “entitled,” “too reliant on technology,” “unable to communicate,” etc.)

Believe me. I understand. As a modern parent myself, I’ve experienced these thoughts and fears. But over the years, after watching my son grow up and after meeting many more young people around the country, I’ve come to the realization that despite what our instincts are telling us, we don’t need to hammer our kids into what we think they need to be. That way leads to misery for us (as we spend every second worrying that our kids won’t be “okay”) and for them (as they constantly struggle to be viewed as “good enough”). What we do need is a shift in perception.

We need to realize that (here’s the aha! moment) we view the world through a different lens than our kids do—because the world has changed since we were their age and is continuing to change every day. Our perception comes from the things our generation valued, which are not necessarily valued today.

To be clear, I’m not talking about character traits like integrity, honesty, dedication, and so on. Core values like these have been prized for millennia, and I don’t see that changing. I’m talking about the skill sets our kids will need to succeed in tomorrow’s world. For instance, to compete in the global marketplace, they’ll need to communicate and collaborate in ways we’ve never had to. They’ll need to be highly technologically literate. The traditional “Three Rs” of education will still be important, but they will need to be supplemented by a host of “soft” skills that weren’t widely emphasized when we were entering the workforce.

Here’s my point: To stop worrying and criticizing our kids so much, we need to shift the way we think about them, their development, and their generation’s eventual place in the world. Here is a great article from Slate that will help you make this mental shift. It gives you a new way to think about all the things your kids are doing RIGHT and how they fit into this new 21^st-century world. And it frees you up to find happiness with your kids instead of agonizing over them and crushing their self-esteem.

After reading this highly entertaining, eye-opening, and timely article, I hope you’ll agree with me that, much more than you may have supposed, the kids really are okay.

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Business leaders and owners: What were your last 10 or 15 employee conversations like? Chances are, they included phrases like, “I need you to finish that projection by the end of the day,” or, “I’m putting you on the Brown account,” or, “How much longer do you think it’ll take to finish that PowerPoint the client requested?”

As I know from personal experience, you can’t run a business without addressing these types of issues. (And chances are, unless they’re delivered in a, shall we say, forceful tone of voice, your employees don’t mind hearing pertinent instructions and questions.) But as I learned early on in my career, if your conversations with employees don’t include other types of phrases, too, your team’s morale will probably suffer. Let me explain.

In the midst of the everyday chaos of running a business, leaders often don’t think about what they could or should say to motivate their employees. Often, those leaders assume that their employees know how they feel—about each person’s individual performance and about the company’s health in general. Usually, though, that’s not the case.

They’d never bring it up themselves, but your employees really want to receive affirmation, encouragement, reassurance, respect, and gratitude from you. When you verbalize these things—which takes only a few seconds of your time!—you will notice a big change in your employees’ motivation, commitment, and productivity.

Here are ten phrases that got great results for me at Autopart International. If you start incorporating them into your at-work vocabulary, your employees’ engagement will “blossom” this spring:

*“I need your help.” Yes, your employees will be looking to you to steer your company in the right direction, but I promise, they know you’re human, and they don’t expect you to have all the answers. So the next time you’re facing a difficult decision or brainstorming options, ask your team for help. Rather than losing respect for you as a leader, they’ll appreciate that you treated them as valued partners—and they’ll feel more invested in your company’s future because they had more of a hand in creating it.

*“What do you need from me?” Often, employees are anxious about asking the boss for what they need, whether it’s updated office equipment, more time to complete a project, advice, etc. By explicitly asking what you can give them, you extend permission for your people to make those requests. Be sure to treat any requests you receive seriously. If you can’t give an employee what she asks for, explain why and work with her to find another solution. Either way, this question, and the conversations it sparks, can give you valuable insight regarding how to improve your company’s operations, facilities, and culture. It can also show you how to best develop and support individual team members.

*“I noticed what you did.” Every day, your employees do a lot of “little” things that keep your company running smoothly and customers coming back: Refilling the copier with paper when it’s empty. Smiling at customers after each transaction. Double-checking reports for errors before sending them on. And so forth. Unfortunately, in many organizations, these everyday actions are taken for granted, which (understandably) has a negative effect on employee morale. Let your employees know that you notice and value the mundane parts of their jobs by “catching” as many of them as possible in a good act, and pointing out exactly what it is about their behavior that you appreciate.

*“Thank you.” Yes, your employees may crave recognition for doing the mundane parts of their jobs, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t also appreciate a heartfelt “thank you” for bigger accomplishments. Whether it’s “Thanks for staying late last night,” “Thanks for being so patient with Mrs. Smith—I know she can be a difficult customer,” “Thank you for making our first-quarter marketing campaign a success,” or something else, your people will treasure your appreciation more than you realize. And don’t just praise your employees in private—recognize them in public, too. Talk about their accomplishments in front of the whole team, recognize them in company newsletters, and even call their families to brag on them!

*“What would you like to do here?” Sure, you originally hired each of your employees to do specific jobs. But over time, your company has grown and changed—and so have your people. Periodically (perhaps at annual performance reviews) ask what they’d like to be doing. You might be surprised to learn, for instance, that your administrative assistant would like to be included in the next marketing campaign design team. You might be even more (pleasantly!) surprised to find that her social media engagement ideas yield impressive results. No, you won’t always be able to accommodate every employee’s preferences. But whenever possible, keep job descriptions within your company fluid and allow your people to have a say in matching their skills to the company’s needs. This is one of the best ways I know to build loyalty and encourage your employees to really take ownership of their jobs.

*“I have bad news.” Your instinct might be to play down negative developments, or even keep them to yourself entirely. Nobody wants to be the person who says, “We’re going to have to eliminate some positions over the next six months,” for instance. Nevertheless, your employees deserve to hear the truth from you as soon as possible. They aren’t stupid and will be able to tell when something is “up” even if you don’t acknowledge it. By refusing to share bad news, you’ll only increase paranoia and anxiousness—neither of which are good for engagement or productivity. But when you treat your people like responsible adults by being honest and open, they will appreciate your transparency…and often, you’ll find that they’re willing to voluntarily double their efforts to help you turn the tide.

*“Here’s how our company works and where we stand.” When you make a point of showing everyone how your business “works” and how their specific job descriptions fit into the overall “machinery,” you’ll find that us-versus-them thinking tends to decline, and that profit-minded solutions begin to proliferate. At Autopart International, one of the best management decisions I ever made was showing my employees “the numbers” on a regular basis. I made sure that everyone understood the relationship between their performance and the bottom line—and thus their own pay. Several employees told me that my transparency prompted them to think more carefully about how their own everyday choices and efforts affected the bigger picture.

*“You deserve a reward.” Simple things like gratitude, respect, and autonomy make people far more happy than, say, big salaries and corner offices. However, I won’t deny that more tangible rewards like bonuses, vacation time, prime parking spaces, benefits, and more have their place in raising employee engagement. When resources allow, look for ways to reward your employees for their hard work. Remember, nobody wants to work for a Scrooge! At Autopart International, I thanked employees with everything from sports tickets to door prize drawings to lavish company parties to vacations on Martha’s Vineyard. I found that when I treated my employees like royalty, they worked extra-hard to be the recipients of these perks…and they were much more resistant to moving when offers to work for “the other guys” occasionally came their way.

*“I know you can do it.” Of course you should try to hire employees who are confident and self-directed. But even the most self-assured individuals appreciate an explicit vote of confidence from their leaders! Constantly challenge your people and push them to improve while reassuring them that you believe in them. At Autopart International, I told my employees that I believed in their ability to help our company grow—so much so that I wanted to introduce the concept of performance-based pay with no cap. I found that when a leader is willing to bet large amounts of money on employees’ potential achievements, those employees will work harder for you—and for themselves!—than you ever thought possible. With this strategy, everyone wins.

*“This task is in your hands—I’m stepping back.” Most micromanaging leaders don’t set out to annoy or smother their employees. The problem is, they care—a lot!—and want to make sure everything is done just so. But excessive hovering can give employees the impression that you don’t trust them or have faith in them—a belief that actively undermines engagement. So once you’ve delegated a task, step back and let your employees do what you’ve asked of them. Yes, I know that can be easier said than done. If you have to, lock yourself in your office or go refill your coffee cup to keep yourself from hovering! It may also help to remind yourself that you hired each of your employees for a reason, that you have faith in their potential, and that if they do need help, they know where to find you.

Remember, business is always personal. Specifically, it’s about reaching and motivating each of your employees on a personal level so that they care about contributing to your organization’s ultimate success. This spring, which phrases will you be adding to your at-work vocabulary?

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