In my last post, I talked about a problem that plagues a whole lot of us: constantly expecting the worst. Instead of feeling hopeful, optimistic, or even neutral about the future, we assume that bad things are going to happen. Your husband has been coming home late from work all week? He’s having an affair […]
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Not-So-Great Expectations
“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven.” —John Milton Have you ever noticed that people often expect things to go badly? Without any conscious prompting, our minds automatically jump to and fixate on the worst possible scenarios. Consider the following two examples and […]
Getting Real with Your Friends in 2013
In my last two blog posts, I have written about being authentic with yourself and with your spouse. For the last post in my “Getting Real” series, I’m going to talk about what you can do to cultivate authentic friendships. I think that it’s very easy to go through life surrounded by less-than-authentic friendships. For […]
Getting Real with Your Spouse in 2013
In my last blog post, I offered some suggestions on how to get more real with yourself. To review, I believe that living a life of true authenticity is one of the keys to happiness; after all, if outside influences are determining who you are, what you do, and how you develop, you’ll feel confined, […]
Getting Real with Yourself in 2013
In our society, “authentic” is a positive buzzword. If you’re authentic, you’re honoring your own values, desires, and goals. You’re honest with yourself and with others, and you aren’t being deceptive or fake. Most notably, you are comfortable in your own skin. Yes, this definition of authenticity sounds nice. But here’s the problem: I don’t […]
The Year of the Quitter: Twelve Habits to Drop in 2013
The Times Square ball has dropped, champagne has been sipped, and 2013 has begun. Are you feeling energized and excited to embark on a new year…or (more likely) are you just plain exhausted? If you barely have the energy to think up a list of resolutions that you know you won’t end up keeping, you’re […]
Put Fear in Its Place
I was saddened to hear of the recent passing of Susan Jeffers, who was a pioneer in the self-help movement. Her book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway was first published in 1987, and has since become a classic. Over the past few days I’ve found myself thinking a lot about fear, and how […]
Look at the Little Things…and Be Grateful
“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” —Robert Brault With Thanksgiving right around the corner, there’s a lot of talk about thankfulness. It seems to me that most of us are in the habit of focusing our gratitude on grand statements made on this […]
Going Deeper: Why We Shouldn’t Stop at Small Talk
Recently, a friend forwarded me a New York Times article titled “Talk Deeply, Be Happy?” As this person had suspected, it was right up my alley. It reported the results of a study on conversation. Turns out, the more meaningful conversations you have, the happier you tend to be. (And on the other hand, people […]
Treating the Dorm Room Blues
Time really does fly. It seems like back-to-school just happened, but somehow, we’re already staring fall break in the face! Realizing how far we are into the school year has caused me to think about a topic that’s really close to my heart: the often-difficult time young people can have adjusting to college. If you’re […]